Why are we in a hurry?
Where are we running so fast?
I used to be a super busy person: doing, doing, doing, running, running everywhere., everytime, 24/7. Now, I’m looking back and asking myself: Why ?
At that time, I thought that I had to do it. That’s the way it is, being super busy to get all the items of my to do list done. I realised later that it was also flattering my ego: “I’m busy, I have so much to do and so many things are relying on me.” I was under constant pressure, running from one meeting to the other, from one event to the other, to eventually arrive home exhausted and having no energy. To have lunch with me you had to ask two months in advance. The constant same words came out of my mouth: “I don’t have time”.
Let’s be honest, there are few periods during a year where life or work is bringing up situations or emergencies which need an immediate response and where we have no choice.
I regularly review the last years and wonder: “What did i get out of 10 years of being pressured until exhaustion?” The honest answer is: “Nothing”. I only lost time and opportunites. By having a super full agenda, I didn’t leave room for spontaneity and novelties to enter my life. Above all, I do not even remember the 10th of all the meetings, events i ran to. I always felt to run after time.
Ironically, when you start to slow down you have more time.
I noticed it when I sold my car in 2018 and decided to not buy another one. I am now dependent on public transports with all the organisational skills and time it is demanding (and patience). I had to prioritise my endeavours, I couldn’t do as much I used to. I had to slow down.
One year later, i realised that I wasn’t feeling as pressured as before anymore and I ended up enjoying my recreation time much more. It became something I had chosen in detriment of someting else. I had more time for myself, doing things that matter.
The simple fact of selling my car, had an unexpected outcome, it made me reflect on my relationship with time and on the pressure I felt for so many years. I had to be honest with myself: I was the one pressuring me. Nobody asked it, nobody imposed it. At the end of the day, I was the one writing my to do lists. I did it because it seemed to be the way things go and have to be done.
We pretend that we don’t have time for anything because we are under a lot of obligations. But are those real? Some surely are, taking care of the basic needs of our families ourselves. Besides these, what is the extra pressure that we load on ourselves?
Where was I running too? I don’t know. The only thing I know now is that it wasn’t worth it. I lost time. Perhaps was I running away from something? Running to not see that I was in a path which wasn’t mine. Run away to forget? The results are the same: a huge waste of time and energy.
So, where are you running to? What are you running away from?
Let’s cultivate self-awareness and take responsibility for our choices. We need to take back and have an honest look into our lifes, assess what is important and what isn’t. How do we define our priorities?
Let’s face it, you cannot retrieve time and if we don’t take care of ourselves, nobody else will. We are worth it
With joy,
Marilène